Russ Quotes

“

I fucking love a glaze so I'm going to give it a 6 and a half

“

I love a custard donut and that's like a sweet caramel custard in the middle, actually quite nice.

“

it started off good, that was like a chocolate cake batter and then it's just way too sweet

“

it should have just been straight Biscoff because it gets lost in the donut

“

it's like a strongly mixed vodka soda with pineapple juice and lime cordial

“

It's like you've made a really weak fruit cup cordial and then carbonated.

“

There's no fucking guava, but it's like a super ripe strawberry through a vodka soda.

“

7 out of 10, amazing ginger beer, but I'm not getting much rum.

“

if you love Jimmies, you'll love this, but if you want a ginger beer, go that one all day

“

the gummy itself is way too chewy and jelly-like, not like a tough gummy, which is a bit gross

“

Five out of ten, that's a shit gummy worm.

“

very sweet and a bit sickening, but a fun, a fun little adventure

“

it's like a fucking chewier version of the dinosaurs, which I love

“

don't cut the dinosaur, daddy

“

The Berry flavour's a bit bland, texture's still great

“

Two out of ten, because they're the same thing, but they'll make your shit blue.

“

It's like a disgusting, bitter lemon peel.

“

Amazing flavours but not Starburst Squirts.

“

push your knees to your chest and make sure you're extremely hydrated

“

I think I'm on the wrong website.

“

It's like you're drinking a solo, and someone's peeling a fucking orange in the other room.

“

like you're drinking a solo, and someone's peeling an orange in the other room

“

It's fuck all guava. It's very minimal guava.

“

It just tastes like a normal fucking tropical sugar free.

“

That's probably one of the most foul aftertastes I've had in a drink in a long time.

“

you get drunk faster when you drink zero sugar piss

“

the dad drinking that will headbutt some cunt quicker

“

So is the 8%.

“

the white chocolate's fucking incredible. It shits on Dream or Milky Bar.

“

It's a weak artificial mango

“

looks like the fucking bowel prep packaging

“

I would probably buy that one again

“

I'd never even fart on that one

“

That is a ripe peach, like biting into a juicy, ripe fucking peach.

“

I fucking hated bringing a hard peach to school. That'd ruin your day

“

You could drink about 50 of these bastards.

“

That signature fella taste

“

It'll do the job, but there's better out there. Bring a fork.

“

Trust Russ

“

That is off its fucking head. That's fucking incredible.

“

this is weak as piss

“

It's a bit of a fun fucking chopped coconut Gaytime. I won't be complaining.

“

I need a little bit of private time with the cream

“

It's like a lava cake mixed with a cinnamon scroll, which is a fucking god-tier combo.

“

made it absolutely thunderstorm in there

“

It's subtle, but it works.

“

you were waiting for your mum joke after that, weren't you?

“

fuck me, it's pretty much the same we've already got

“

The caramel's flavourless, but the texture's amazing. So fucking chewy.

“

It's like international roast mixed through the shittest fucking chocolate.

“

Imagine a Ferrero Rocher off Timu with fucking advent calendar chocolate.

“

It just tastes like sweet fruit and chocolate.

“

It doesn't taste like raspberry at all.

“

Best block on earth if you're a fucking geezer like me.

“

Can you really call it a Snickers if it doesn't have the nougat?

“

I am sorry, but that is the best chocolate I've ever had in my life.

“

Righto

“

it's like this fucking weak, mushy, like almost wet chips