Russ Quotes

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Like a buttery fucking Biscoff.

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All fucking palm oil, but it actually tastes quite buttery.

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The matcha that usually tastes like earthy shit actually balances the really sweet strawberry.

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That is a perfectly balanced jelly snake.

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6 out of 10. Similar to that, but it's missing something.

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That raspberry jelly and flavour through it absolutely completes that Rocky Road.

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If you like coconut rough, you'll like that, but I think the bickies are taking away that coconut flavour a bit.

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It's like sucking on the fingers of someone that's been eating pistachios with the worst, almost sour, dark chocolate ever.

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like sucking on the fingers of someone eating pistachios

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If you're Celiac, that'll scratch your itch for sure.

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And the normal one.

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It's like a twangy hard cordial, there is a slight aftertaste, but it tastes like a spirit.

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last time I had 18 standard drinks I experimented with my best mate

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the strongest can of piss in Australian history

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That one was like swallowing nails. This one's like swallowing thumbtacks

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It's fucking gonna kill someone, but hopefully not me.

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I won't because I don't want to lose my family, but I could.

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now it tastes like a fucking Coles bagel with bacon, egg, cheese and a fucking tin of fucking Hollandaise sauce

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Sometimes we're blinded by nostalgia

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The pastry's a little bit sad, however, it's got a nice crispy top and the filling is a fucking 10.

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I think 10 bucks is cheap for a premium pie.

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Yours has been working out too

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It's a Hank Gill ass

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It's not the outside, it's what's on the inside that matters

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Pie will fucking die, baby

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It's not as sweet as the Aero, but you get this awesome crunchy wafer, and it just tastes like Jaffas.

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why didn't they call it the Kit Kat Girthy?

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I open the pack and it's a fucking crop dust, a dead set fart in this bag.

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what other package can we put fucking barbecue in?

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I'd be getting under the doona with one of these ones

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fucking awesome, they are a great bag of chips.

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I genuinely think they're the best Smith's I've reviewed yet

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reminds me of Inside Out the movie

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They're like a nerd's rope, but the rope is thicker, and there's less nerds.

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if you've got a Speckled Snake, go to the fuckin' doctor

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They are so greasy, like lubed, they're lubed up.

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Fairy Bread only has three fucking ingredients and this doesn't have one of them.

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Surely artificial colours aren't that bad. I've turned out all right.

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Think Grape Hubba Bubba with that V-Twang aftertaste, fucking incredible.

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I have to do the full for science

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This one feels very syrupy

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I might be converted

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That just tastes like a fast food coffee, but you're biting a Biscoff or a Molto milk at the same time.

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sometimes that doesn't even save a fucking Macca's coffee

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it's a nice fruity soda, but I'm not getting that fucking mango puree flavour

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I did not think I'd enjoy that

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if they coated them in hickory barbecue, chuck some fucking angry onions on there, that would be absolutely fucking horny

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they weren't ribs from a Texan smokehouse... but they weren't human meat

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Okay, exactly the same, and to be honest, pretty shit.

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if you had one of these at school, you were way cool

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This is like that flavour in a must-stick texture.

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I don't know if that's pineapple or apple, that's fucking shit.

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no one's having analogue darts anymore, onto digital durries

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a good mini treat for your kids to shut the fuck up

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Go the Cookies one. Don't bother with that fucker.

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they are Skittles on steroids

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It's a passionfruit lump. I'd say a vanilla passionfruit lump. But still fucking awesome.

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now you can bash your family with a tropical twist