Russ Quotes

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it's not the size that matters. It's the way it tastes, I've heard

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not gonna blow your speedos off this summer like the mango did

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Looks like Kermit after a five day meth bender

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the apple was always so fucking brown in a toffee apple

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bring a knife and fork. Or a plate.

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I will never have leftover snack pack

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Shrek's sperm sample, which is turning me off

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That's a Russ Shandy, not a Russ Handy

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She's going to be like, you're a drunk cunt

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if you just want to get blind for like $1.75 a stand-o

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This fucker's turtlehead and waiting for me

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my golden retriever growing up always had a boner

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Three cans of Russ Energy is about the same as that pissy little bottle

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I'm necking the fucker

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becoming an old man that yells at clouds

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mine's turned into a fucking Canadian off South Park

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It's a done-o.

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Another espresso martini, I'll shit my pants

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I just drank the coke

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like a normal chunky, but someone's eaten a Ferrero Rocher beside you

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cunts on a diet too

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Give us a call, Kit Kat. We'll talk.

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Something that you would give a kid, they'll love it

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don't cut the dinosaur, daddy

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push your knees to your chest and make sure you're extremely hydrated

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I think I'm on the wrong website.

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like you're drinking a solo, and someone's peeling an orange in the other room

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you get drunk faster when you drink zero sugar piss

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the dad drinking that will headbutt some cunt quicker

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looks like the fucking bowel prep packaging

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I'd never even fart on that one

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I fucking hated bringing a hard peach to school. That'd ruin your day

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That signature fella taste

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Trust Russ

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I need a little bit of private time with the cream

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made it absolutely thunderstorm in there

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you were waiting for your mum joke after that, weren't you?

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Righto

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And raw dog

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like Chad Kroger covering Wadir for the ultimate collab

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60-year-old man in a robe, playing Carole King Tapestry with a big fat cigar

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Stick to picking your nose and fucking kinder surprises

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OG one looks like something a school canteen would have served you up

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Looks like they've deep fried something from the bin beside the chick's toilets

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Mount Everest was shrinking because we were mining too much pink salt

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They do give me flashbacks now

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drinking that in the pool with my cock on the spa jam

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taking skin off

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we're coming crawling back up Dream's ass

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Fuck me dead

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this was my golden ticket that fucking got me up

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straight from bed to a hard Sunkist for fucking breakfast

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That's what she said.

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Maccas is like a partner that kept cheating on them

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Nope, fingered. Fingered by five people at an 18th birthday.

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I nearly crashed my car because of a traveler

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a little bit of fun a little bit of a party

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I get the Gut Rumbler