Russ Quotes

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I'm gonna break up with her because she likes matcha

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like 99.9% just water, so maybe it's healthy

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I even bought a Diet Coke Crocs

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the word gherkin's getting fucking bred out

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like the Gina and Hawk tour collab of chocolates

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Righto

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It's on me fucking jersey

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because your mum didn't fucking cut enough

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like a blue Batman, not a blue fucking V

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chuck one in the pool and pretend someone shat in there

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Russ's Choccy stool chart

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After a couple of licks, the taste always gets better

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was that off Metal Gear Solid?

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if you're fit and love to shit, this is for you

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I'm glad we're back on the fucking cow tit

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looked like a milky bath wank

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convinced they're not even fucking Pringles

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Yes, I will get the Mr. Beast tattoo. I just didn't say when.

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Sorry, PB&J. The band's getting to me.

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It's playing with your head a bit

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I'm convinced that is trying to kill us

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I'm not fucking Dick Smith. I don't give a fuck who owns it.

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Footies back. Russ is home. What a time to be alive.

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I want to control my twang levels, okay?

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I got the biggest thing on the menu just so I can get my ass smacked

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You can also jerk yourself off, but it's always better when someone does it for you

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I am getting a little bit of PTSD there

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Those chicks wanted fifty dollars Australian each for a photo

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look like something that I'm about to create after eating this

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full onion, like Shrek's onion carriage on it

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Could be I haven't had water in two days

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Sell piss in a pharmacy which is crazy

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I've went in dry a few times before

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it has tomatoes, so it's healthier

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looks like something you'd find in the bin beside the female toilets

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these might get their yearly root down to every six months

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after four to eight of these you'll get dragged into HR on monday

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I've got a bad aim. That's why I sit down to piss.

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I feel bad killing a chicken because they're absolutely adorable

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a crocodile, you don't really give a fuck because they're like evil cunts

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they charge through the fucking ass for everything at a servo

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this isn't the first time Russ has had a hard white monster in his mouth

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If Creed plays when we drink one of them, I wonder what plays when we drink this

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four fucking gummy bears, human centipede

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let's put some fucking hairs on me chest

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for munted cunts with failing livers, smash these with a bacon egg roll

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remember when you buy the Sims and you get the expansion packs?

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let's see if it tastes more like a planet or your ex

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who's ass though, could be anywhere from a 0 to an 11

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making my mouth look like I munched out a goth

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They say don't polish a turd, but this is one of those occasions where it's work

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I will be finishing one, not two, or I will get another hemorrhoid

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I swear people don't know what sour means

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chim, whatever that is

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cunt's fucked but not as fucked as I thought it would be

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four double quarter pounders surrounding a field of fish

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I'm starting to think this cunt is the CEO of Peter's.

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There's been something going on in Peter's HQ.